I’m not here!

I’m on Patheos now,  don’t forget.  I’m still posting twice a week at the Register, and my Patheos blog will keep you updated with those links, as well as all sorts of ridiculous things that fell out of my brain.

Please do subscribe or follow me on Patheos!  You can subscribe via email, Twitter, Facebook, or RSS feed.  You can also find my personal Twitter (@SimchaFisher) and Facebook accounts, and get links for all my Patheos posts that way.

Archives and new pages coming soon.  See you there!

Psst – over here . . .

Don’t forget, I’m at Patheos now!  Just got a post up about poor Miss Utah.  We’re working on importing my archives from this blog to my new digs at Patheos, and I hope to be able to redirect at least some of my subscribers here to Patheos, too.

But please do subscribe to my new address.  Go here and scroll down a bit, and you will see the options to follow “I Have to Sit Down” on Twitter, Facebook, or via Feedburner, or via email.  I won’t be posting here much longer!  I will be posting twice a week (instead of three times) at The Register starting in July, and I will posts links on my Patheos blog to all my Register posts.  Boy, I tried and tried to phrase that more clearly, but I don’t think it can be done.  The moral of this story is:  go to Patheos!

MANY THANKS to everyone who came to see me yesterday and left a nice comment!  I felt very welcome and encouraged.

Still not pregnant . . .

but I do have an announcement.  As of today, I’ll be blogging for Patheos!  Bigger, wider audience, excellent company, and a great opportunity altogether.  If you’re not familiar with Patheos, it’s a huge sort of super site for religious writers of all stripes.  There are separate “portals” for various religions.  I’ll be writing for the “Sheesh, Does She Ever Stop Yapping About Herself”” portal.  Ha ha, just kidding — I’m in the Roman Catholic one, of course.

I’ll be blogging at the Register twice a week instead of three times, starting in July.  My blog will stay just the same, that it will be tucked inside a Patheos frame or what have you.

There are, as always in bloggy land, some kinks to iron out (by which I mean that every time I look at the instructions for how to do an RSS feed redirect, I die.  I just die).  I’m not sure when my blog archives will catch up with me, and I haven’t managed to do much personalization, beyond my dear old Venus of Willendorf, still sprawled in her comfy chair.  I’ll keep this blog live for a while, until I get things squared away.

Do come see me at Patheos! My first post just went up:  Honk honk!  Don’t leave me sad and lonely, honking at myself.

Audiobook voice casting – need help!

Sorry for the non-father’s day-related post.  We’re celebrating here by weakly cheering on my husband for holding down an apple.  Yep, it’s pukesville U.S.A.  It’s just as well we didn’t get him the bourbon he really wanted, because Pepto Bismol makes a lousy mixer.  The steak is going back into the freezer, the whiffle bat is going back on the porch, and we’re having strawberry shortcake anyway, because what the hell.

Anyway, I need some quick help from you guys, especially if you’ve been reading my stuff for a while.  As I’ve mentioned, I’m putting out an audiobook in the fall.  Audible.com will be using one of their professional readers, but they are letting me help choose someone.  The editor says:

Casting an audiobook is much like casting a film— use any description you like, to pinpoint the voice you imagine.

E.g.:  “Greta Garbo crossed with Tom Hanks and a pinch of mustard!”

Any casting notes you give me will go directly to the Audible Studio’s casting director, who will bake them in to the production of your audiobook.

So, I can’t just say, “Hire Anne Bancroft!”  I mean, she’s dead, but also, even if she were alive, I couldn’t say that.  But I can ask for someone who sounds like Anne Bancroft.

I look pretty much exactly like this, especially around the . . . ears . . .

My problem is that I don’t know names.  I’m not familiar with a lot of famous voices.  I’m looking for someone who sounds friendly and motherly, I guess, but who can deliver a punch line with a real punch in it.  The book is chatty overall, grave in some places, and pretty tart many others.  I would like a woman with a deeper voice, maybe a little gravelly, with a good sense of comic timing.

I would be very grateful for any suggestions!  I said I’d turn in my casting notes on Monday.  Thanks!

Oh, and tomorrow I will have a Big!  Anouncement! (still not pregnant)

Happy Father’s Day, Abba

Thanks for all the times you carried me.

It happens to all of us.

I am not one of those conservatives who hates the environment. I don’t boycott my parish if the priest happens to mention Earth Day, and I don’t set a heap of tires on fire to make reparations for people who use cloth diapers. I even recycle, and use cloth dish towels, and do the laundry in cold water, and have a compost heap that is there on purpose.  I like the environment.

But when I am stuck in traffic with dozens and dozens of other idling cars and trucks, and the police have closed off two lanes while a tow truck maneuvers into position to tow one of these

to the nearest Mobil station because it has run out of gas, then YES, I am going to laugh.

Need you ask?  It had a COEXIST bumper sticker.  I laughed!

The saddest voice

It’s Friday, and I have about fourteen things that I’m REALLY EXCITED TO TELL YOU ABOUT, but I HAVE TO MAKE LUNCH FOR THE KIDS AT SOME POINT!  So in the meantime, here are some sad, sad songs to enjoy.