Pee S. A.

We once had this cat who hated our guts.


(image source)

The kids named her “Cleo.”  We thought she was our pet; she thought we were her captors.  She was an indoor cat because I couldn’t catch her long enough to put her in the chew-proof box we purchased after she chewed through the pet carrier we purchased to bring her to the vet to get her shots.  I tried and tried to catch her, but we lived in a house with staircases on both ends, and I was pregnant — so around and around we would go.  She would scamper up one set of stairs, sit at the top and watch me struggle and clamber halfway up, and then -whisk!- away she would go, across the house and down the other set of stairs.

At one point, Cleo chewed a hole in the wall of the laundry room and lived inside the empty space,  haunting us like a furry black demon with her scuffling noises.  The only time she wanted anything to do with me is when she went into heat, when she would follow me around the kitchen, backing up, gazing at me with pleading eyes, and emitting the most pitiful yowls.

Anyway, she had one particular trick to show us just how much she despised us for sheltering and feeding her.  She would sit on the futon, waiting for me to come into the room.  As soon as I made eye contact, she would pee.  Then she would get up and leave the room, brushing past my ankles in a devastatingly ironic pantomime of normal feline affection, just to show me she could if she wanted to.

Don’t ask me why we kept this horrible animal around for as long as we did.  She was our first real pet, and I guess we figured we should keep her for the kids’ sake — although what good it did them to have a pet who lived inside the walls, I don’t know.  Anyway, while she was around, I got pretty good at getting pee out of things.  I made many batches of this special cleanser, and it always worked:

  • 1 quart of 3% hydrogen peroxide
  • 1/4 cup baking soda
  • 1 teaspoon of liquid soap

Gently mix all ingredients in a non-metal container. Do not mix or shake vigorously.  Saturate the stain with the liquid, and allow it to air dry (which might take 24 hours, I forget).  It should smell fine once it’s dry, but you may have to do a second time.  You can use this on any item or surface that can get wet — so, not wooden floors, but grout or concrete floors or just about anything else.  It does leave a ghost of a mark on light fabrics, but it’s better than pee!

Oh, so one day, I ran out of kitty litter, and I had a moment of clarity about this “pet.”  I opened the door and she took off like a streak.  We never saw her again.  Other creatures have left their mark on our house and belongings since then, but nothing ever smelled as bad as Cleo’s Anger Pee.


  1. Thanks for the cleaning solution – we have one that has been angry ever since we got a dog and has the same way of showing it.

  2. Our house smells like pee and we have no pets 😦 Thanks for the cleaner recipe, I have a feeling it will make our next round of failed potty training more bearable.

  3. But . . . my cat pees on our wooden floor. That section of the wood is already ruined, so I may try this anyway.

    She’s not angry, though, she has Old Age Kidney Disease. Not that that makes me feel any better about the pee everywhere.

  4. I’m glad she ran away!

    I found a product called Stink Free. It is expensive, but it costs less than the awful burning odor of cat pee.

  5. Wow. A cat like that wouldn’t last five minutes here. We got our kitten at the humane society. There was a whole litter. The lady who brought them in wrote an ENTIRE page about each kitty. This experience taught me an important lesson: Our first kitten had been born of a feral mother. He was the size of my hand when we got him, but he hadn’t been loved since he was first born like our lovely, fluffy, devoted Misty. Misty has never bitten or scratched a single kid, though she has been sorely abused by the last three. I can’t begin to tell you how beautiful, self sufficient and devoted she is. She is an outside cat, in a semi rural area, so she has coyotes and raccoons to deal with, and I don’t have to deal with KITTY LITTER. She waits for us in the driveway, and has a quiet, polite meow when she is hungry. She is the dog’s BOSS, and she leaves us little love notes composed of rat and bunny guts.

  6. The happiest cats I have found are outdoor cats. Yeah, they don’t live as long as indoor cats but they aren’t HUMAN!! I care for animals but I won’t let them run my life. I see that happen with people. You did the right thing.

  7. I will have to try that. Mostly it isn’t the cat’s fault; when she does pee somewhere it’s usually just the floor. It’s the kids who pee on the couch. Whoever wrote that you could potty train in three days was lying through their teeth.

  8. Our eldest son once lived in a household containing a very old (the only reason she’d been taken in!) female cat they nicknamed “Doom Kitty”. She was (is?) the foulest tempered thing on the planet. But they were far too nice to put her down. She may still be around.

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