Unearned love

In which I break one of my cardinal rules and tell another mother she’s doing it all wrong.



  1. What a fantastic post!

    I was a bit scared when the lady said she ‘eye-balled’ her kids. I wonder whether this says something about a certain section of American parents. I am British and remember reading an American parenting book which was very good apart from the chapter on independence. It did seem to lack a little warmth and said nothing about the values you talk about. However, maybe there are just as many British parents who spend a lot of the time time saying “Oh for goodness sake, get up. You’re alright.” And I’m sometimes one of them. But maybe next time I will think about compassion and mercy as well. Thank you.

  2. why does not hugging your kids, get equated with creating an independent child?
    seems to me, the more you affirm them and are affectionate to them, the more confident the are in themselves.
    (oh, my baby is outside on the concrete with the 3 year old and is crying…what to do!?…)

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