My Dear Graduates

Did you hear anything useful in the commencement address at your graduation?  Did you hear anything stupid?  Well, now’s your chance to hear something fairly useful and awfully stupid, all at the same time.  Today at the Register:  My Dear Graduates (the speech I’ll never get invited to make).



  1. Do you speak at homeschool graduations? Our Lady’s First School for People Who Love Dinosaurs will be needing a speaker for its first graduating class in seven years.

    You won’t even have to wear pantyhose!

  2. I remember nothing about graduation because I tuned it all out knowing it was a pack of lies. I wasn’t going to change the world or be a shooting star or even wear sunscreen reliably. My main goal was to get the heck out of town, and I did. But I might be changing the world by procreating all these pretty, kind and sensible people. (No, none of them are teenagers yet, so I know they will lose all sense in a few years, but I hope to beat it back into them by 21!)

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