On Friday, I was trying to remind you or myself of something, but I couldn’t remember what. There were many helpful suggestions — or, well, there were no helpful suggestions. But as it happens, right in the preparations for my first teenage birthday party — and here’s a hint for you parents: if you have seven fragile-looking, waifish, slender reed-type girls to feed, you need to know that four pounds of strawberries, five pounds of grapes, two enormous bags of chips, a giant veggie and dip platter, five large pizzas, a chocolate cake and two dozen cup cakes with cream cheese frosting is going to just barely be enough food. I’ve never seen anyone eat like that before. And I never actually saw them chewing, but somehow every time I turned around, the food was gone again.
Oh, and here’s another tip: never ask a crowd of thirteen-year-old girls, “What would you like to do now?” They all feel very strongly about it, but are psychologically completely incapable of letting an adult know what they want. So I think they had a good time. Or maybe not. Anyway, it’s over now.
Anyway, right in the middle of the preparations for this magnificent party, I remembered! I remembered what I wanted to remind you. Here it is:
Now that Mitt Romney is officially running for president, keep the following in mind.
Well, that’s all. Oh, I feel better now.