so I sent this to my husband yesterday and watched him check it later on. He opened it on his phone while he was in the middle of something and let out the biggest chuckle and looked up and was like, “Hey that’s pretty good.” LOL
I laughed so hard I woke my wife up. Once she read it she laughed with me. Then again, we do a lot of laughing together on this topic. Laughter is the antidote to the poisonous seriousness that ruins so many love lives.
Sometimes, espcially with NFP, you have to choose between laughing or crying. I know which one is better for us.
Now, that’s interesting. As it happens, we don’t use birth control, either, and only have sex if we are ready to have another baby, or are fairly sure that it’s an infertile time.
I hate explaining jokes, but you really don’t seem to get it, so I hope this gives you a little context. I see that you don’t think it’s funny, and there’s nothing I can do about that! But really, please don’t assume that people who make jokes like this are some kind of inferior beings who don’t understand the deep mystery of human sexuality. We understand it all to well, and that’s what makes it funny.
The reason we laughed so hard after this conversation was because it wasn’t really the way we think. I’m not ACTUALLY so averse to conceiving right now, that I’d stab my husband; and he’s not ACTUALLY so eager to have sex that he’d sacrifice one of his eyes.
And yet . . .that’s kind of exactly how we feel. It was kind of like our ids peeped out and communicated directly with each other for a second, before being shushed by our more mature, loving, self-sacrificial superegos. That’s what made it even funnier: because it wasn’t true at all, but at the same time, it was kinda true.
That’s what makes sex so funny and so heartbreaking,at the same time: because men and women are made with such different needs, but we need each other so much.
Do what you like. I’m not that big a phony. You’re so appallingly rude and selfish I really don’t give a hot damn about you now. Your entire generation, AAMOF, is so cold and self-absorbed and so intent on marketing yourselves and “networking” with the right people in order to boost your internet “value” I’m sure you have no use for prayers from anyone who doesn’t stroke your ego or further your brand.
Sharon, what the heck are you talking about? I’m seriously confused now. You’re the one who said my husband is
” objectifying or dehumanizing”
and “merely a selfish frat-boy out for a quickie regardless of the other person. ” — and I’M the one who is rude?
I am interested in “marketing myself” and “networking” because I have eight kids and we need more money, period. And I do need prayers, desperately, for any number of reasons. I’m working hard to be polite to people who randomly lash out at me. If that’s phony then I sure have wasted a lot of time in my life.
Please do as you like. I’m sincerely sorry I upset you.
Well, I guess you finally showed your true colors. At first, I assumed you were one of those people who don’t understand Simcha’s sense of humour and do not understand that, as imperfect beings, we sometimes have fleeting thoughts which do not reflect the deeply held convictions of our souls, but rather the emotions of the moment. We know that these emotional thoughts are not true, that is why airing them in the way that Simch did is very funny. Other sinners who have experienced these moments and allowed their reason to turn them aside, remember and think it is hilarious to see them expressed so humourously in black and white.
The I saw this post and realized that you do understand having emotional responses that do not reflect your deeply held convictions about what is true and right. After all, I am certain that in your rational mind, you don’t really think it is right to be so uncharitable, prideful and superior, yet there it is for all to see.
Simcha was kind to pray for you and I know she will. I hope you will rethink your post and do the same. I’ll add one in for all of us for good measure.
Hmmm…you made the “get me pregnant” comment which was what I found objectifying and dehumanizing (still do, no matter how funny you think it is) and the comments about frat-boys and quickies was made in general and was a response to the mindset, not your husband.
Hey, you wanna market your private life for cash, you gotta live with the fallout. It’s all in a day’s work.
So I’m guessing the “I miss the good old days, when men were men and women were property” jokes that occur in my house would not go over big in Sharon’s house, eh? Those things are funny because of the inherent absurdity, and the juxtaposition of the good and the obviously absurd. I thought surely when you explained the humor your interrogator would back off, but you never know, I guess.
We’ve been telling people that we’re pretty sure our next pregnancy will result in twin girls because it takes two girls to equal one boy. I have to stop saying that though because the oxygen leaves the room and then I can’t breathe.
I loved Simacha’s post above. Sharon’s reaction reminds me of my own inward reaction to jokes about women. I wouldn’t laugh at either of the “women were property” or “two girls to make one boy” jokes. But I can see that others don’t have any baggage attached to these type of jokes, so I don’t automatically think “How dare you say that!” It’s a joke, not meant seriously. But I have people in my own life making these kind of jokes and at the same time treating women like maids/servants/less than a man. Sorry, not sure I’m making my point, and I’m not defending her words, but I’d guess some kind of personal experience made Sharon react like she did.
Had to come over from today’s link, because I couldn’t believe that this post actually offended someone.
You are very gracious in the face of… of… Well, I honestly can’t think of a Christian way to describe the conversation that would be at least morally neutral.
Sometimes I’m amazed that we really are all of the same species when we can think so… differently. And not “get” how self-blinded we are being, and how much suppressed hostility is coming out in our writing. But then too, we all have bad days.
I’m with Denise. I thought this was hilarious. Knowing how much you love having kids, I can’t imagine judging you for joking with your husband about getting pregnant. It’s not like you said, “Seriously, if you infect me with another one of your spawn, I will have an abortion.” Now that would be evil, no matter how funny it was meant to be.
And it’s true, there is a tension between wanting and not wanting sex/babies. How could one not have some second thoughts about taking on the greatest joys and one of the toughest jobs, again. You want a baby because they’re fantastic. You don’t want one one this minute because you spent all day pulling your hair out over the ones you’ve already had.
Oh, yeah. These comments were worth reading. I got to laugh at Simcha’s 3 lines, and then shake my head and laugh at silly Sharon’s seriousness. Shoot, I teach the Theology of the Body to our teens and I still think Simcha’s funny.
Sim, I laughed at this post when you first put it up & then never came back to it…till today & then I laughed harder at the comments! Goodness. I guess the highlight was “Too late, I already prayed for you!” & I did too actually.
NO!! Maybe it will give Sharon pause to consider that she overreacted. Maybe she had a bad day and can now come back to this and laugh at herself. There are lots of moments in my life which I revisit and now laugh at.
Everyone wishes Sharon well (I do anyway), but think’s she should enjoy life more. Life is too short, blah blah blah.
I’m really grateful you linked back, and not to laugh at a person I’ve never met. It’s the attitude that makes me crack up, and the fact that we can laugh at ourselves and the lines of thinking that can get us into trouble. Three cheers for self-effacing humor!
A few things come to mind about the mindset of Sharon (not Sharon herself, mind you, who can change in a trice!)
(1) “Every eye is an evil eye which looks in unto a mood apart” – Robert Frost
(2) Jung’s definition of a neurotic: “Someone who refuses to LIVE their own suffering.” They make other people suffer their confusion and pain, because they can’t or haven’t dared look into it. It is hard to do, and one must have that rare loving hand to hold onto whilst one peers into the deep. Yipes.
(3) Sharon is part of our communion, and the pain we feel at her responses IS our prayer for her. Why should prayer always be feel-good and superior (“Lord, thank you for not making me like THAT person!”)? Prayer can be painful and confused – a sorting the wheat from the tares that takes place within each human soul (Solzhenitsyn: “The battleline between good and evil runs through the heart of every man.”)
Nah, I think I’m getting in too deep here. I’ll just stick with Frost. Sharon’s mindset (not herself, mind you), shows itself here in its humorlessness as a kind of jealous fundamentalism. Christ can overcome that, but she needs to pray for us, too. Her inability to do that is the source of her “fear to peer.” She can do it.
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Leaving the house, little two-legs? Not without your PANTS PASS!