Planet Aid, runaway tushy, cheese dip, etc.

How sad — the long weekend is over.  We had a lovely time devouring sausages and hot cheese dip, drinking beer and visiting with family, including our new godson, who is plenty cute, let me tell you.  But I really didn’t mind handing him back to my sister when he wouldn’t quit squawking.

Come see the stupid thing I wrote.  It’s cross-posted at The Anchoress and Inside Catholic’s Inside Blog, so why don’t you pretend to be two people and leave comments in both places?  One comment can be mean and one can be nice!  For the mean one, I suggest that you use all lower-case letters so people will take you seriously.

Then, after you have read them both and tried the cheese dip, take a look at what will soon be unleashed on the world, when yet another of my plenty-cute nephews grows up.  He is 7 years old, and wrote this story:

The Runaway Tushy

A kind of true story

by Juan Diego


Once upon a time there was a lady named Mama T and she wanted her children to be clean.  One day, she was changing the baby’s diaper when suddenly the baby’s tushy bounced off the bed, out of the bedroom, into the entryway and out the door.  Another tushy grew and bounced off.  A third tushy grew and stayed.


Meanwhile, the two tushies were hunting with pistols they found in the woods.  When the two tushies met, they almost shot each other, but they learned to know each other.  They built a house and hunted their food and lived a jolly life, and so, if you ever go north, you find the two tushies strumming their banjos or guitars.


The End

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12 comments

  1. i have never seen deliverance, but i bet this story is way better. i didn’t know that using only lower-case letters made people take you seriously– i do it because i’m usually holding or nursing someone…

  2. The cheese dip bothers me because I’m not sure what to dip in it. I would really want something fried. I was thinking I could fry peppers and dip them in, but that would defeat the purpose, wouldn’t it?

    About the story – is it autobiographical? It just rang so true. But I got upset at the part, “…but they learned to know each other.” Does he mean in a biblical sense? This just doesn’t seem the sort of thing a seven year old should be writing about. Also, did neither of the tushies learn to play the “fanny drum?” That is usually a more natural choice of instrument for a tushy. I feel that it left a lot of questions unanswered.

    This is probably the only comment I’ll leave you. Unless the “CAPS LOCK” fever strikes me again.

    • “The cheese dip bothers me because I’m not sure what to dip in it. ”

      Tortilla chips or pita bread. Trust me, this stuff is practically a meal in itself, especially if you eat three quarts of it, like I did.

      “About the story – is it autobiographical? It just rang so true. But I got upset at the part, “…but they learned to know each other.” Does he mean in a biblical sense? This just doesn’t seem the sort of thing a seven year old should be writing about. ”

      Well, he’s almost 8.

  3. I’m confused about “Planet Aid” — everything else made perfect sense, especially the part about the dip. You have made the internet a better place today. Thank you.

  4. Oh how could you be so cruel as to say that about the cheese dip? Now I am craving a big bowl of it with a ginormous pile of tortilla chips. And there isn’t any in the house. Not even chips and salsa.

    I’m hungry and there’s nothing to eat and it’s my fault for taking the kids to the playground instead of going grocery shopping.

  5. Haha. That story reminds me of the following by Gogol.

    “Already it had entered a stagecoach, and was about to leave for Riga with a passport made out in the name of a certain chinovnik. And, curiously enough, I myself, at first, took it to be a gentleman. Luckily, though, I had my eyeglasses on me. Soon, therefore, I perceived the ‘gentleman’ to be no more than a nose.”

  6. I see Juan Diego has inherited the quirky humor and writing gene that runs rampant through the P. family!!!

    Mama T: I would love to see an illustration of tushies playing the banjo!!

  7. I read the story solemnly to my children as a condemnation of the unimaginative, lazy drivel that they try to pass off as school work.

    All they heard was “tushies.”

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