Poetry Monday – UPDATED

Hamburger Washer Sleep Blog, Or:

Will Okra Slime Hurt Me?

. . .

Mad Jesus
Laughing Jesus
people choking
Jew site
Snappy kid talk
What is spillcock
baby powder help with lice
I have sit
I must sit down
Ha ha suckers
toilets blog
Mark Shea butter football
baby shower old wise tales


How to wet sitting down
Sit down joke
I need sit down
frog brothers
pasty vampires
Hallie Lord the jerk
. . .
Dear everyone,
Well, I did it again.  I thought the joke was really obvious, but it turns out that it was just me being a big weirdo again.  I hope no one was offended, disgusted, or, you know, weirded out.  This poem was made up of search terms for my blog.  Each line was an exact quote of a phrase that someone entered into a search engine, and then ended up at my blog.
“Hallie Lord the jerk,” for instance, is not a statement of opinion — it’s just a sad statement that Hallie Lord is now inextricably linked (at least as far as Google is concerned) with people like me.


  1. I found the phrase “butter football” to be racially charged and this WILL be the last time I visit this horrid blog, you bigot, you!

    Furthermore, the picture that accompanied your piece of, cough, *art*, cough, brought back a memory of a very traumatic time in my life when I saw a REAL man ballet dancer wearing REAL tights and dancing and his gluteal muscles were so large and pronounced that I became frightened that they might hurt me.
    And I was sitting at least twelve rows back from the stage.

    I shan’t be right for the rest of the day.

  2. I’m just sad that if I tried to do the same thing with my blog’s searches it wouldn’t be nearly as funny. I might do it anyway though. We could start a meme!

    • WordPress gives you a stats page which tells you (among other things) what search terms prople used to arrive at your blog. So today, it says:

      simcha fisher 4
      simcha fisher i have to sit down 3
      i have to sit down 2
      i have to sit down blog simcha 2
      homer price face 2
      i have to sit down simcha 2
      please dont hurt my arse movies 1
      simcha fisher blog 1
      smart comebacks to stupid questions 1
      dont tell me you dont like my shoes 1

      There is usually at least one completely mystifying one.

      When I had a Google Blogger blog, I used Sitemeter, which gave me similar information.

  3. Loved the ending photo–had me laughing.

    Love it.

    I used to read your blog a couple years ago–and somehow I lost track of it! Glad to find it again–keeps me laughing!

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