My favorite joke

In a world where Jay Leno asks people where Illinois is, and people don’t know, and then that’s considered funny, I think it’s our duty to bring back The Joke.

So I’ll tell you my favorite joke, and then you send me yours.  If it makes me laugh, I’ll post it next time, so you can grab a piece of my rapidly-dwindling traffic before it disappears completely due to people realizing that, although I talk more when I’m tired, I say much, much less,  ha ha ha!

Don’t put your joke in the comments — email me at  Oh, and if I choose your joke, I will do my best to waste a good chunk of family time hunting for an appropriate illustration, too.

Okay, here it is:

A professor is wrapping up his scholarly lecture on the structure of the universe.  He asks for questions, and an old man in the back row raises his hand and says, “I hate to tell you this, but you’re all wrong.  You’ve got all these fancy theories about gravitational pull and retrograde motion and orbital influences and I don’t know what all, but you know what’s really holding the world up?”

“Please enlighten us, ” sneers the lecturer.

“A turtle!  Yep, a big ol’ turtle, with the world on his back.”

When the laughter dies down, the lecturer says, “And sir, perhaps you could explain to the audience what this impressive turtle is standing on?”

“Sure!  Another turtle.”

“Another turtle.  And perhaps you could tell us–”

“Mister,” says the old man, “You’re wasting your time.  It’s turtles allllll the way down.”


  1. I actually thought of a joke, but the link doesn’t work. The “not found” message says I shouldn’t lose hope, though.

    • Oh, Devra, go ahead and use my regular email if the link doesn’t work (or just cut and paste the address into your email account). I’m still getting used to WordPress.

  2. Very funny joke. If only my brain would put two thoughts together to come up with a joke! I can’t even remember the name of my college roommate let alone a joke!

    I hope you know that people are reading (and enjoying it!). I don’t make a comment everyday, but I do read every post (I even spent an hour reading the Inside Catholic post and comments after your NFP post).

  3. Thanks, Megan and Alyson! It means a lot to me that people are reading.

    Alyson, I hope you weren’t utterly horrified by what you read there — a lot of people were at their worst on that post. I always felt that a non-Catholic reading those comments would be sort of like a sports-hater learning about football by sitting in on someone’s knee surgery. It’s not always that bad . . .

  4. A Minister, a Priest, and a Rabbi walk into a bar.


    As a Catholic boy and a Jewish boy were walking home from school one Friday, the conversation turned to religion.

    “My Priest knows more than your Rabbi,” Anthony said smugly.

    “Of course he does,” replied David, “You tell him everything.”

  5. Love Bob’s.
    Perhaps mine is colored by the age of my children:
    A: Knock knock.
    B: Who’s there?
    A: The Impatient Cow.
    B: The Impatie–
    A: MOOOO!
    Also here from Conversion Diary & enjoying it!

  6. I just called my 10-year-old to tell her The Impatient Cow joke. Very well received. Then she put on her sister (14), who laughed even harder. Then SHE put on her youngest sister (seven months), who apparently isn’t a fan of knock-knock jokes.

  7. Heard this joke in an interview with Michael Wex, the author of “Born to Kvetch”, and it cracked me up! He offered it as a definition of the word, “kvetch”, which is one of my favorite words.

    An old Jewish man riding on a train begins to moan: “Oy, am I thirsty… Oy, am I thirsty…”, to the annoyance of the other passengers. Finally, another passenger gets a cup of water and gives it to the old man, who thanks him profusely and gulps it down. Feeling satisfied, the other passenger sits down again, only to hear “Oy, was I thirsty… Oy, was I thirsty…”

    Please forgive me for being thick, but Simcha, I don’t understand the joke you posted! I asked my husband to read it, too, but he didn’t get it either. Help!

  8. Also just realized that I can’t follow directions. Just noticed the “Don’t put your joke in the comments.” part. *Sigh* I have so few brain cells left, it’s a wonder I can do anything!

  9. I like the turtle joke.
    And the Catholic priest/rabbi comment. Which reminds me –
    Definition of a priest:
    Someone who everyone calls Father.
    Except his son.
    Who calls him uncle.

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