Ten things I learned while camping with nine kids

Here ya go, fresh from my just-back-from-camping brain.  Oh, and I forgot one more thing:  kids will eat anything, absolutely anything, if you stick it on a stick.  Will post pictures if I can find the cord, which we may or may not have accidentally packed and then accidentally let loose in the wilds of Massachusetts.

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Homeschool To Classroom: A Quiz For Anxious Parents

Are you at an appropriate level of freakout?

And, because I never get tired of it, here is one of the reasons we quit homeschooling:

and here is the attendant, admittedly rather skimpy explanation.

We are so lucky that we have a wonderful charter school half an hour away (which is why, in about a week, I’m going to resume moaning and groaning about how much time I spend in the car); but we also used the local public school for a year, and you know what?  It was fine.  Not great, but not fine.

And the charter school is not perfect — but no education is perfect.  Not home school, not public school, not private parochial school.  There are always gaps.  There are always problems that need fixing and mistakes that need addressing.  Once I realized this, I felt a lot less overwhelmed and more able to use my energy fixing the things that did need my attention, as well as appreciating the things that were new but good.

And driving.  I used lots and lots and lots of energy in driving.

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Catholic Match article

“A Letter To My Sad, Skinny Single Self” is up today.  Boy, that was a harder assignment than I expected it to be.  What advice would you give to your pre-relationship self?

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Gung ho!

Is this what the Holy Spirit wants from you?  Really?

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Cake pans and wedding vows

This is one of the dishtowels which we got for a wedding present almost fifteen years ago.   See today’s post for context, sorta.

(I put it in sepia tones so it would look like one of those romantic wedding photos that people do.)

And yes, fine, I’ll throw it out now.  Sheesh.

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Is this a Cuban I see before me?

Hi,

I’m The Jerk. You might remember me from that time the USCCB named me the second worst fictional Catholic on the internet.

Who’s Number 1?

Fine, fine. I can be the bigger man and accept defeat. I would like to know what tipped the scales.

Dude, it was that hair. It’s creepier than some of the shit we found in Maciel’s sock drawer.

Before I ruin Simcha’s chances at ever being invited to speak at some money-bags event, like The Catholic Ladies for Muslim Fashion Awards, I better get on with the movie.

RED DAWN

 

Remember that time when you were a kid at a family BBQ and your Uncle Terry was going on and on and on and on about the Communists? Remember how he talked about his bunker and canned goods? About the differences between a .357 round and a .45? About how he turned in his Social Security card? How Reagan was really a secret Russian mole?

Get me another Coors, kiddo.

Yeah, this is the movie Uncle Terry would have written if he ever got his typing privileges back. Pure 80’s paranoia is on full display in the story written and directed by Hollywood’s favorite gun-nut, John Milius.

Don’t forget, I’m kind of a fascist too.

Fun fact: John Milius served as the inspiration for Walter in The Big Lebowski. I just said that so you nerds couldnt.

The movie asks the question; What would happen if America was invaded by Cuba? BUT in the movie, the Cubans have real tanks and stuff. In reality, we know the ’55 Chevy’s with inoperable Gatling guns bolted to the hoods that they actually have would never make the trip.

But we really do have good health care.

Why don’t you cram a Cohiba, Commie.

The movie’s answer involves a Patrick Swazye, Charlie Sheen, and everybody’s favorite actor that isn’t Steve Guttenberg, C. Thomas Howell, as a band of teens who become freedom fighters.

The producers felt I was a little too Guttenberg-y for the role.

Once our idyllic small town in Colorado gets invaded by the Cubans, with the Russians not far behind, our teens managed to escape to the mountains where the initially hope to wait out World War III.

What, no broads?

Oh, don’t worry, soon our all male ensemble is rounded out by the alluring beauty of Ally Sheedy and Jennifer Grey. Stop laughing.

I was Baby!

And I’m a Chinese Jet Pilot.

The movie takes an episodic approach , showing the evolution of these crazy mixed up kids into fierce freedom fighters. Since this is sort of a Brat Pack apocalypse movie, they take the name of their high school mascot, Wolverines.

That’s kinda gay.

As  this is the 1980s, the Wolverines take on some pretty obvious similarities of the Mujaheddin in Afghanistan, another group of freedom fighters sticking it to the Communists. I wonder how that war turned out?

“Pretty Obvious” is also the name of my autobiography.

Honorable mention goes to two actors, Powers Booth and Harry Dean Stanton. Powers plays an American fighter pilot shot down who spends some time helping our youngsters. Man, Powers Booth should have had a much better career.

I see myself as the thinking man’s John Saxon.

Harry Dean Stanton plays the father of Swayze and Sheen. Did I forget to mention they are brothers in the movie?

I was real sorry for The Swayze on this one.

Old Harry Dean He gets put into a “re-education camp” by the Commies because he was a gun owner. Dun Dun DUN!

And THAT’S why I don’t use flouride!

See, the Gummint rules about knowing who has a gun is all part of the plot to soften us up for the invasion. Also part of the invasion, illegal aliens! The Cubans sent a vanguard over the boarder disguised as Mexicans. The only thing missing from this movie was a sub-plot about Zionism.

It’s always missing. Know why? THE JEWS!

Until next time, amigos, keep your precious bodily fluids intact.

Oh, next up, we’ll check out how  REAL AMERICAN HERO Ronnie Reagan deals with Commies in Hong Kong.

Who wet my pants?

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Behold, the dreamer cometh

Oops, forgot to link up.  It’s about interpreting dreams.  Had any luck?

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Not Going to DC

This is really unprofessional, but after mulling it over all weekend, I’ve realized that it would be cuh-razy to go to DC in November.  The baby is just too young, is the main reason — and we don’t have a network of babysitters or anything.  It’s just us chickens, with our multiple jobs, multiple schools, multiple personalities, etc. 

I am still looking for speaking engagements in New England, though.  And the little guys won’t be little forever, goodness knows, so travel for me is not out of the question, just postponed. 

Thank you, so much, to everybody who offered lodging, help, and encouragement!  There are so many of you I hope to meet in person some day. 

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Stupid game for your Monday morning!

I don’t know about you, but I had quite a weekend.  How about a stupid little game, to ease ourselves into another stupid week?

Just open up a comment and press ctrl + V.  Whatever you copied last will get pasted in.  Then we’ll see who we’re dealing with here.

Here’s mine:

hid his eyes behind his wing) Doubled the flames of sevenbranched candelabra

Don’t that make me sound smarty and arty?  It’s from Eliot’s The Wasteland, as Melanie Bettinelli surely knows.  But the truth is, someone quoted this line on Facebook, and it sounded vaguely familiar, like maybe Shakespeare or the Bible or one o’ them thick books.  I had to Google it to find out who said it.  Oh, well.  College was a long time ago.

Okay, now yours!  Fun!  Fun!

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Catholic Speaker Month!

Voting opened yesterday at BrandonVogt.com!  He’s collected the names of 250 Catholic speakers, and is asking people to vote for their favorites — or for lesser-known names who deserve more recognition.  You can choose 15 names.

You may notice my name is on the list  — thanks, Brandon!  I am now booking speaking engagements, mostly in the New England area for now, because Benny is only 8 months old and she wuvs her muvver.

I am especially interested in finding a reason to be in the D.C. area around November 11.  I’ve been invited to join a panel of U.S. Bishops and Catholic bloggers to discuss Catholicism and social media.  I really want to go, but D.C. is a little further than I want to travel at the moment — but if I could combine trips, it would make more sense to attend.  (Anyone else going to be there?)

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