Son Rise Radio Show Tomorrow

Matt Swaim is very kindly having me on the radio again tomorrow, 8:50 EST, to discuss how women objectify men.  Of course you realize this means I’ll have to be nice to my husband for . . . let’s see, nearly 23 hours straight, so as to get that authentic sound.  Wish me luck.

You can listen (they always have lots of interesting guests on, not just me laughing at my own jokes!) here.

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How Women Objectify Men

I only know about this because, I, um, read a book about the way other women, bad women, treat their husbands.  So that’s how I know.

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I won! We won! Everybody won!

Thanks so much, everyone, if you voted for me for “Funniest Blog” in the Catholic New Media Awards — I won!  I’ve been putting off announcing it because I felt a sudden, overbearing pressure to be, well, the funniest blog.  But when I sat down at the keyboard and was like, “Come on, brain!  Joke!” my brain was all, “Oh, um, ahhh!  Wocka WOCKA!”  My husband laughed, but I wasn’t sure I could put it across.

Anyway, lots of excellent choices were made:

The National Catholic Register won Best Overall Catholic Website and Best Group Blog!

Hallie Lord won Most Entertaining Blog for Betty Beguiles!

Jen Fulwiler won Everything for Most Everything Everything in the world — and I voted for her, darn it, because she’s that good!(Specifically, Conversion Diary won Best Blog By a Woman, Best Written Blog, Most Spiritual Blog, People’s Choice, Tallest Catholic Blogger, Fastest Catholic Typist, Nicest Catholic Teeth, and Most Insidious Subliminal Messages On a Catholic Blog, If You Read It Backwards While Stoned.)

The Anchoress, The Crescat, Creative Minority Report, Bad Catholic, That Strangest of Wars, and The Ironic Catholic are also favorites of mine which won awards from New Catholic Media.  Do check them out — that is, after all, the purpose of these awards:  to encourage people to read good stuff they may have missed.*

I spent all morning pushing to get a super secret project done (more details soon!), and then I went to the post-hurricane beach with the kids for several hours, in an effort to forget that people are still mad — mad! — at me for saying that Thomas Kinkade should be taken out and slowly beheaded with blunt sporks because of all the baby ducklings I hear he’s been torturing, or whatever it was I apparently said.  Then I made supper.

Anyway, what I’m trying to tell you is that I left someone off, or messed up all the links again, I’m just tired.  And if you sent me congratulations and I forgot to respond, I’m sorry — I’m just tired.  I know, we’re all tired.  We’re all Tiredest Catholic Bloggers.  We win!

*That’s to answer the implied question of my 12-year-old daughter, who just said, “Oh, you won?  And you won . . . a picture of a trophy?  Okay.”

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Ten thing I wish I had known as a new wife

11.  No, you will never get used to that snoring.

Also, #1-10.

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What’s so bad about Thomas Kinkade?

I thought you’d never ask.

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Nose Newts

1.  Vote for me in the Catholic New Media Awards!  Voting closes Friday, August 26.  You have to register (that’s how they make sure people only vote once — you know how sneaky Catholics are), but it’s very fast and easy, and you will have the satisfaction of knowing that you helped me achieve something about which Vox Nova, in a statement entirely devoid of envy, snobbery, or tear-stained, puppy-kicking denial, says, “The absurdity of such awards should be self-evident.”

2. Vote for the National Catholic Register for best group blog!  Because, come on, it is the best group blog.  Oh, and Best Overall Catholic Website, too!  Vote!  There are many other excellent blogs and podcasts worthy of your vote, too, but since I already voted, I can’t seem to see the list anymore.

3. Register Radio is coming!  Register Radio is coming!  This 30-minute program will launch on September 2, and will include all sorts of things:  news, interviews, Catholic views on entertainment and the media, and a “top blogger” spot, following up on whatever people got the most het up about in the last week.  I’ll have more information soon about how and when to listen.

4.  We finally received the replacement part for the broken kitchen faucet.  It wasn’t the worst thing in the world to fill a bucket with water from the bathtub and lug it into the kitchen in order to do dishes or clean anything, and then rinse soapy pots and pans off in the bathtub, and run the shower to get the coffee stains out of the bath toys that didn’t get put away, and constantly hear, “GET OUT OF DA BAFFWOOM, I’M FIRSTY AND I NEED A DWINK!!!!” and stuff.  For two weeks.  But I sure didn’t like it.

3.  I gots plenty more to say about Thomas Kinkade, but right now I’m so tired, I’m  having trouble completing the second half of blinking (the opening-my-eyes-again part).  Hope to follow up soon, but in the mean time, let me say that his work qualifies as shite entirely on its own merits — has nothing to do with Kinkade’s personal success or popularity, or with his personal loathsome behavior.  It’s all about the painting.  I’m willing to forgive people who enjoy his work, but I’m not willing to agree that there’s nothing to forgive.

6.  I just noticed that I numbered these paragraphs “1, 2, 3, 4, 3″ and “6.”

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All you need to know about Thomas Kinkade [Updated]

[Edited April 7, 2012:  To fans of Thomas Kinkade who arrived at my blog after hearing of the painter's death yesterday: please accept my sincere condolences.  This post was written in August of 2011.  Obviously I don't think much of his work, but he was a child of God like every other human being.  May his soul rest in peace, and may we all dwell in the true light of Christ together one day.]

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William Turner, painter of light:

Rembrandt van Rijn, painter of light:

George Tooker, painter of light:

Caravaggio, painter of light:

Charles Burchfield, painter of light:

Jan Vermeer, painter of light:

Thomas Kinkade, painter of shite:

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On the radio tomorrow

Folks, I will have a quick segment with Matt Swaim on the Son Rise Morning Show from EWTN Radio tomorrow (Wednesday, August 24) at the humane hour of 8:10 a.m. (eastern time).  We will be talking about making your kids pray.  Hope you can listen!  You can also find podcasts a of the show archived here.

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Making Children Pray

Is it the same as making poor people pray?  No, but it’s just as tricky.

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Making Poor People Pray

Don’t.

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