–1–
Store brand cereal names. When I was little, manufacturers of generic food didn’t bother trying to snare the thrifty shopper by putting grinning strawberries or wacky breakfast raccoons on the box — it was just a white box with black letters, stating the legal nomenclature of the grain product you were about to consume.
Today, however, they try and make it sound like it’s some kind of close cousin to the Real Thing, without infringing on any copyrights. Some of them just try to sound like the brand name, like Tasteeo-s instead of Cheerios. Then some of them are just kind of disconcertingly descriptive: Crispy Hexagons, Corn Spheres. But some of them . . . some of them are just a cereal mystery, and they make me laugh. And the greatest of these is Confruity Crisp.
–2–
Renita Jablonski from the radio show Marketplace. I realize this makes me an eleven-year-old boy, but ever time I hear her name, my brain giggles like Beavis and Butthead. See, cuz, it kinda sounds like Heywood . . . oh, never mind.
–3–
My three-year-old daughter says “who” when she means “what.” I occasionally correct her, but it’s just too much fun to see her come into the kitchen, wrinkle her nose and say, “Who’s that smell?” It’s your supper, that’s who.
–4–
The Howard Dean scream. It just never gets old.
–5–
Sometimes, when my husband is changing a diaper, he puts the clean diaper on his head, and then pretends he can’t find it. Gets me every time.
–6–
That scene in 30 Rock where all the guys are sleeping on the couches, and one of them takes a bite of his sandwich in his sleep. I can’t believe they’re still making that show! It’s so funny, it should have been canceled by now (we’re up to season 4 on Netflix).
–7–
Well, in keeping with the way things have been going around here lately, I hate this post and couldn’t finish it, but couldn’t do anything else until it was done. I guess I should be grateful to have six things that make me laugh, but instead I was just hung up on how bummed I was that I put my beer on the back of the couch for a second, only to discover that the back of the couch wasn’t up against the wall after all, and so that was the end of my beer. I hate that couch so much, I’m glad it got beer spilled all down the back and on its stupid confruity little skirt ruffle; but still, I had to clean up the beer. It was a Corona, too! Oh, anyway, so while I was looking for a towel, my husband said that fart jokes always make me laugh. I don’t think this is strictly true, but on the other hand, we’ve been together for a while now, so I guess he would know.
Okay, okay, wait. It does make me laugh when someone says “poot” instead of “fart.” Poot! That’s not even a word.
Oh, boy. Well, check out our lovely hostess Jen Fulwiler of Conversion Diary for Seven Quick Takes, and find out how the normals are doing it.
In one of the hospitals where I work as a doula, there’s a Jablonski staff member. There I am, shuffling up and down the hall with some poor woman in active labor, and I snicker every time I pass that nameplate.
Those generic cereal names make me laugh, too. Popular in our house: Marshmallow Mateys (Lucky Charms), Nutty Nuggets (Grape Nuts) and Tootie Frooties (Fruit Loops).
There are also others worth mentioning, although they’re not cereals. Panburger Partner (Hamburger Helper) is particularly amusing. And in the health and beauty dept, Equate’s version of Aveeno’s Positively Radiant moisturizer: Absolutely Beaming. Makes me laugh every time I see it on my shelf.
Tootie Frooties…that one makes me laugh too because I think there is a flatulence joke in it…
Spilling a Corona is not a great loss, in my book.
I’m with you Charity. No, Corona. Too many spring break memories of a bad practical joke, that wasn’t even perpetrated against me but still makes me gag to think about. And someone fell for it every. year. Bad, very bad.
Aw, c’mon, Corona is FANCY beer! Anyway, we were having chicken quesadillas and nachos.
I would, however, like to blame the Corona for making me write “impinging” instead of “infringing.”
As for the practical jokes — I don’t even want to know. When I was in college, I never ever put my beer down, so that probably saved me.
The Howard Dean scream. My brother who is deployed overseas right now does it so well, it’s scary!
If you don’t mind laughing so hard that you cry, you must watch this clip of the Flight of the Conchords singing, Business Time. Maybe you’ve already enjoyed this one, but I must have watched it a dozen times and it’s still hysterical!
If the link doesn’t work, just search “flight of the conchords business time”.
Mmm… Spilt beer.
#3 Lol! My 3 year old says “for” instead of “from”. So she will ask “where’d that come for?”.
My 2 3/4 year old says “Effluent” for elephant and “alligator” for both elevator and escalator. Cracks me up every time.
“And he rode on his effluent up the alligator.”
Number 2… ha! Me too. Great post and glad I’m not the only one giggling about that name.
The Howard Dean scream gets even better on the JibJab This Land is Your Land parody. I’m probably going to go watch now.
Our favorite generic cereal is cocoa peanut butter spheres.
oooo- going over to jibjab to enjoy the Howard dean scream
I laugh every time I pass this new “hot yoga” place in town. Evidently they heat the building to 150* and then do yoga. That might be popular in Siberia, but I can’t imagine it will do well here where the average temperature is over 80* most of the year. The other funny thing about that place is that it shares a building with a restaurant specializing in fried seafood. If I’m going to be hot, I’d rather be eating shrimp than doing the “upward facing dog.”
One thing that always makes me laugh is driving by the veterinarian clinic. That wouldn’t normally be funny… except it’s right next door to the specialty meat market.
Generic names make me laugh too. My favorite is our Bloom Grocery Store’s brand of Dr. Pepper is called “Dr. Perky”. I laughed so hard I was crying in the soda aisle at the store. I actually bought some, and it tastes good!
My 3rd child, when he was 3, used “what” for “that.” We still call a certain book “The Little Engine What Could.” He doesn’t, though. He’s too busy fixing our computers for us and teaching me how to use my IPod. I swear, our children steal our brain cells.
My theory: Significant brain cells are lost with every placenta!
Cute post!
When my sister and I were little, we were only allowed to say “poot” because “fart” was a bad word according to my mom. Then one day I grew up and realized that no one says that….