Hamburger Washer Sleep Blog, Or:
Will Okra Slime Hurt Me?
. . .
Mad Jesus
Laughing Jesus
people choking
Jew site
.
Snappy kid talk
What is spillcock
baby powder help with lice
.
I have sit
I must sit down
Ha ha suckers
toilets blog
.
Mark Shea butter football
baby shower old wise tales
.
How to wet sitting down
Sit down joke
I need sit down
.
frog brothers
pasty vampires
Hallie Lord the jerk
. . .
Dear everyone,
Well, I did it again. I thought the joke was really obvious, but it turns out that it was just me being a big weirdo again. I hope no one was offended, disgusted, or, you know, weirded out. This poem was made up of search terms for my blog. Each line was an exact quote of a phrase that someone entered into a search engine, and then ended up at my blog.
“Hallie Lord the jerk,” for instance, is not a statement of opinion — it’s just a sad statement that Hallie Lord is now inextricably linked (at least as far as Google is concerned) with people like me.
Sorry!
You should change the blog title to “I need sit down.” Just makes more sense.
Fantastic poem. I caught the “sleep deprivation” theme immediately.
“Hamburger Washer Sleep Pome, Or:
If Kerouac Had Been a Mother of Eight”
[...] big weirdo again. I hope no one was offended, disgusted, or, you know, weirded out. The poem in this morning’s post was made up of search terms for my blog. Each line was an exact quote of a phrase that someone [...]
Perfectly clear and hilarious too. Especially loved the image.
I found the phrase “butter football” to be racially charged and this WILL be the last time I visit this horrid blog, you bigot, you!
Furthermore, the picture that accompanied your piece of, cough, *art*, cough, brought back a memory of a very traumatic time in my life when I saw a REAL man ballet dancer wearing REAL tights and dancing and his gluteal muscles were so large and pronounced that I became frightened that they might hurt me.
And I was sitting at least twelve rows back from the stage.
I shan’t be right for the rest of the day.
Don’t worry folks, this is my last day of exposing my mental illness on the Interweb. School starts tomorrow.
I’m just sad that if I tried to do the same thing with my blog’s searches it wouldn’t be nearly as funny. I might do it anyway though. We could start a meme!
Oh, good idea, Melanie! I had to cut out a lot of funny ones, for reasons of propriety or rhythm – such a shame.
I figured it out, so I guess that makes me a weirdo too. Yippee!
How do you do that-figure out what searches bring up your blog? Searching doesn’t tell you how…
WordPress gives you a stats page which tells you (among other things) what search terms prople used to arrive at your blog. So today, it says:
simcha fisher 4
simcha fisher i have to sit down 3
i have to sit down 2
i have to sit down blog simcha 2
homer price face 2
i have to sit down simcha 2
please dont hurt my arse movies 1
simcha fisher blog 1
smart comebacks to stupid questions 1
dont tell me you dont like my shoes 1
There is usually at least one completely mystifying one.
When I had a Google Blogger blog, I used Sitemeter, which gave me similar information.
“please dont hurt my arse movies”
awesome.
I once had someone find mine by searching for “50 lbs of red grease.”
This makes me want to Google random things and click through to your site.
[...] a good laugh at the poor suckers who Googled “spiritual help” and ended up with you. Here is the search term poem I came up with. Spread the [...]
[...] 6, 2010, 9:53 AM Simcha Fisher I hope nobody minds if I re-post something from my blog from last week. (In my defense, this is not so much shameless self-promotion as shameless scrambling for a [...]
Loved the ending photo–had me laughing.
Love it.
I used to read your blog a couple years ago–and somehow I lost track of it! Glad to find it again–keeps me laughing!
[...] DaySep 6th, 2010 by Elizabeth Scalia TweetI hope nobody minds if I re-post something from my blog from last week. (In my defense, this is not so much shameless self-promotion as shameless scrambling for a [...]
[...] helpfulThe last time I hit a milestone (100 posts) I ran through some of my stranger search terms (a la Simcha) and I thought I’d reprise today.Given my geekly leanings, I’m not shocked to find that [...]